I'm one of those people who really doesn't like to be alone, I hate it and i get sad and depressed. I have continually had a boyfriend since i was 15 because i like the company and hate being alone and unattached. The friends i have are the kind of friends who will come over to my house and just sit with me, doing nothing just being bored with me.







I use to come home from work and count the hours on my fingers until Joey came home, trying to pass the time by taking a nap or staying busy around the house. When i became pregnant it was the best feeling ever, i was no longer alone, ever. I had this baby inside me, it went with me in the shower, to the bathroom, to the bank, to the grocery store, to bed with me, it went everywhere with me. I felt him moving around and responding to music i played or movements id make.







When Vincent was finally born, i felt happy but at the same time sad.... sad to not be pregnant anymore. I think i was afraid of being alone again. Vincent had to stay at the hospital (preemie baby) and my fear came true when joey left to go to work every morning. Id call joey a million times a day asking when he was getting off work or when he was coming home. Every time i asked the same question even though i knew the answer, i think i was hoping the time would change and if i just asked one more time he might say he was coming home now. Id spend my days at the hospital holding Vincent, wishing the nurses would go away and leave us alone. When i left the NICU i felt lost, single and unattached. When i got to the parking lot and in my car i would call joey and ask again when he was coming home.







Vincent came home after a long three weeks of staying at the hospital. I was so happy. I wasn't going to be alone anymore. I would watch Vincent sleep daring to wake him up just for the company. Id sleep with him in my bed just to not feel alone. Id take baths with him and eat with him and prop him up on the couch to watch TV with me i held him constantly. He was my sidekick, my best friend and the toddler he is now is the best company i have ever had!







May be that's why i love being a mom so much, i love the company and the undying love my child has for me. I love the friendship he has to offer because its so true and honest. He always laughs at my jokes and doesn't care how i talk or act, as long as i am here with him keeping him company. He doesn't have the power to posses negative thoughts about anyone. He smiles all the time and doesn't care if we are just being bored together, because to him its all fun.







He doesn't realize i need him just as much as he needs me. He is my best friend.

Labels: being mom, bestfriends, company, Love